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The other night after a blunt in Markapos;s room I experienced extreme clarity.
The next day I think I talked so much about everything in the world that I am lucky it was a Sunday and only Sarah had to deal with me.
I imagine what it will be like when we are alone together and I tell you exactly what Iapos;ve been thinking, but I actually have no idea when this will ever take place.
I have been a little hibernating bear lately. I finally bought a yoga mat. I am jealous of people who have intense will power. I want another vacation already. I regret all the shit Iapos;ve downloaded on my computer. I want to go to your little nest sometime soon. Kush makes my eyes roll into the back of my head. Thank God Forensic Files was on last night. I wish all of my classes would be cancelled all the time. I just realized today I never said good-bye properly to my parents, I wonder if they realized that too. I need a job. I need another cup of tea. I need $15,000, and a life outside of a dorm. I love to water plants.
Soon I will be enjoying an ugly sweater party, but not soon enough.
For Halloween I want to be Fun Betty but everyone is giving me horrible reactions. Too bad, Iapos;m already half way there.

Iapos;ve been feeling gassy since that dunkin donuts sandwich yesterday.
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I am so impressed with me and Johnapos;s friendship. Honestly we have the coolest relationship ever. We completely understand eachother, we find the same things funny (disbrow, spiderman), we know what would upset eachother (cans spilling in my car,having awkward situations occur), we think the same things (Kyle Browning?, this is too much shrimp). I dont know i just think its so cool that weapos;re on the same page all the time and we just completely and totally understand eachother.

Also, we always end up getting into these deep talks. Like weapos;ll be driving for a long time just talking about such intense things. I dont know why but I feel extremely comfortable and relaxed whenever we hang out. Its such a stress remover.

Whatever I was just thinking about how cool it is =) alright Iapos;m going to a college open house now.

<3333

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So letapos;s say youapos;re really high and you just e-mail confessed your love to someone in a tottaly not-meant-to-be-taken-as-a-datey way kind of thing. Just like you know, like you really adore that person.....

but youapos;re afraid it might have sort of seemed the other way? Do you e-mail them back to clairfy before they read? Just hope for the best and ingore it unless they something? Just let it go?

Living makes me sort of crazy somethings

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So Iapos;ve been sick in bed the last couple days. Its been miserable. Iapos;m finally able to talk again without coughing my lungs up. Still stuffed up, sore throat, congestion and coughing, just not as bad as I�have been the last couple days. Its really sapped my energy and I hope to get over this soon. My head feels really cloudy which makes it difficult to get anything accomplished. Iapos;ve managed to search around for a template for my website and hopefully I will feel up to getting started on the design.

Well Iapos;m going to take a shower, hoping it will relieve some congestion and wake me up enough to get something done today. I was supposed to start setting up for a yard sale and I was set to go get the things I needed to price and advertise but I came down with this. I�hope to hear from my beautiful girlfriend today, even if i canapos;t talk as much as she might want me to, I will at least listen.�

�

I�love you honeybunny, Hope to hear from you soon.
�

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Why in the Whole World, out of so many people, things can happened so unexpectedly, so coincidentally,
unknowingly, and remorsefully?

If anyone has read the papers about
"�2 Friends Died in a Car Crash "
Itapos;s truly fatal and heartbreaking.

Both are so young,
1 with family and kid, the daughter was so adorable, so cute
now that such things happened,
how is the family going to live on?

Yes, thatapos;s life
but the sudden crash is too unexpected.

People who donapos;t know about them,
donapos;t assume and make nasty comments like "they speed, they deserved it"
Imagine heapos;s your family member, your closest kin

Now,
Is there such thing call premonition?
"a warning call"?
Mr. Ng had an accident 3 weeks ago and his car was detained,
he couldnapos;t attend his car-racing the next day in Msia,
could he be saved but this time round,
not so lucky.

If youapos;re given a chance, should you misuse or be safe than sorry?

Why are all these bicyclist everywhere?
Why canapos;t they keep to their rules and not cycle in the middle of the road?
Because of 1 life, it cost 2.
This is so tormenting.

The night I�received the news,
I�broke down and cried.
I attended the wake
as the dead was my friendapos;s brother.

Thinking of our young times,
a man who climbed up high,
be it heapos;s good or bad,
heapos;s a father of an innocent girl, a husband of a good wife
is now resting in another world
May God Bless him
and
RIP
.

...My condolences...

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I feel so alone, all the time. Every time I feel like this it confuses me, every time I cry Iapos;m wondering who else constantly feels like this. Who else thinks about ending it every other week.

I wish I could get away from it all, leave this place, leave behind everyone who ever hurt me. I fantasize about my own suicide. About what song Iapos;d put on repeat while I do it. The time will come soon enough, Iapos;m destroying myself with the alcohol, the drugs, the cutting. Itapos;s getting worse now, I have to drink more, take more and cut deeper to get the same thrills. One day Iapos;ll reach that point, but right now the thoughts of the four people who love me are the ones that are keeping me here.

Iapos;m trapped inside myself, too scared to ask for the help I need but at the same time the misery is comforting.
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Well, as previously mentioned I�am just on a new character. I figured I�would do a few little quests, and that is exactly what I did. I�only leveled to four, which is nothing fantastic. I would have an updated avatar, but for some reason my photoshop is not working with putting text on it. Maybe�I will worry about it later. But yeah... Talked to a few people. Trying to see if there are any good guilds on the server to join on a little later in time perhaps, but did not really hear anything promising. Only talked to a very few, though; so�I might find something tomorrow.

Something interesting that did happen though, is when�I was on the boat to go to Teldrassil (I am not getting the Elekk x(�) I was standing next to a level 70 pally human. Nothing interesting,�I am not awe struck or anything... But then the boat is coming and there is a horde character flagged on it. All I�can think is, "Yay some entertainment."�But what happens? The horde jumps from the boat and dives under the deck and gets deep into the water and swims completely under the water and way off course to the shore... Yup. I later mentioned it to the pally and all he did was "lol."�I guess I found it more wussy and funny than anyone else... But I�mean come on�He was a�Orc Hunter for christapos;s sake... And�I think he was even a level 70�Ah well,�I guess I�still had some entertainment. ^o^

But that is all that really happened, made it to�Teldrassil and got into Darnassus to get rested experience for tomorrow when�I actually jump at the game more hardcore to get my hunter wicked awesome. <3 Look forward to the adventure.
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Itapos;s been awhile since Iapos;ve posted. A lot is going on, but Iapos;m not sure if Iapos;m ready to post about it. I want to wait a little longer to see how things pan out before I go on a rant that makes me look stupid. Time will tell whether Iapos;m stupid or justified in my line of thinking.

Anyway, I have been enjoying being a part of several online communities. It feels great to always have someone to talk to about whatever is on my mind at that moment. Iapos;ve been up late into the night talking to people with no strings attached, learning about their lives and their interests. Itapos;s really nice to have that kind of conversation and know that when itapos;s over there is no pressure for it to continue again and again. I know that sounds horrible, but it is refreshing for me. Megan, Alex and Bonnie are all going through really tough things that Iapos;m helping them through, but when I am done dispensing my love and wisdom for the day on them it is nice to have a place to go where I can just talk about things without all the expectations.

I have also pulled a tendon in my left hand that runs from my thumb into my arm. So, while I am enjoying typing, it hurts pretty good. I have a removable cast/splint thing that keeps my hand stable due to a metal lining. That has helped alleviate the pain some. Although, when my hand gets tired my wrist will begin to throb a bit. I have to wear it for another week or so. Just until the pain has resolved. Things have been harder to do with only having one hand. I have to eat finger foods. I always have to leave one hand open, so I canapos;t carry very much. I have a hard time getting things out of my book bag or opening doors. I need a personal assistant for the next week to help me out A few people have been really nice and offered to help me when they see me, even though we are strangers. That has been uplifting to me. I guess humanity still has some potential.

Anywho, I hope life gets a little less hectic and stressful over the coming days. That would be nice. Very nice, indeed.
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I love, love, love Halloween Iapos;m not sure why. Iapos;ve always loved scary movies and the classic movie monsters so it probably comes from that. Surprisingly though, I rarely choose to be something scary for Halloween. I couldnapos;t tell you how many times I was Dracula as a kid. I was also a kind of futuristic Frankenstein once. Now a days our family spends a lot of time deciding, planning and creating costumes. We focus more on the detail rather than the scare quotiant.
I donapos;t know why but I feel like the forces that be are conspiring against me this season to leave me very little time to complete my costume. I have 2 business trips in the next 2 weeks and church and school are making a grab for any remaining hours. Iapos;m currently turning down all invitations. Are costumes are usually completed Halloween day and up to the last minute. I wish I knew why. Thereapos;s always just so much to do that I think we sometimes donapos;t know how to proceed.
Iapos;m already pondering next years costume. I think Iapos;ll try a scary classic monster. Iapos;ve considered being the Wolfman since I tend to be overly hairy anyway. Of course, Iapos;m thinking that I would let all my hair grow out somewhat in time for next year and any haircuts I get between now and next year, I would save the hair and use it to make wolf hands and possibly feet. See what I mean? There is some serious planning and detail in our costumes
This year Iapos;m going to be the Mad Hatter. Tim Burton along with Johnny Depp are making a live action Alice in Wonderland for Disney so I figure Iapos;m beating the trend as next year everybody may choose to be the Hatter and Iapos;m never one to follow the crowd. Anyway, I canapos;t be just the Mad Hatter. I want to be the Mad Hatter and the March Hare so Iapos;m in the process of creating a rabbit puppet as well. I fake arm will be involved. So far itapos;s all been very frustrating and slow to come to fruition.
I need therapy...

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