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There are so many places.. So many people. Right now I am definitely a bit stuck. Of course everything takes time, but my feelings are the one thing I really enjoy and take pride about feeling sure of. Without this feeling of completeness and conclusion, I really do feel quite lost. I am probably rushing in my attempt to pick up all the pieces and place them back together, and in doing so Iapos;m making a huge mess. So for now I will try to sit back and let them fall where they may, but Iapos;m not sure for how long I canapos;t be in control of myself and where Iapos;m heading.

To feel the pull of two different emotions inside your stomach at the same time is quite possibly the most repulsive feeling in the world, just for the record.
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I quite enjoyed the National/Labour leaderapos;s debate on TV1 tonight - and I think that Helen Clark and John Key did too. The format worked ok. There was a bit of talking over each other and that nearly got out of control, but there were also good opportunities for them both to make their points and respond to the other. The YouTube clips were a little boring but the questions were substantive and sensible.

The worst question of the evening was easily Barry Soper asking John Key to defend his lack of political awareness around the Springbok Tour in 1981

I thought both leaders came across ok and neither dominated on facts, policy or personality. Key still looks slightly smarmy and Clark has a terrible patronising laugh, but these are only minor points. Key did better than I expected but so did Clark.

Iapos;m not sure if I was convinced by either but in some ways I now feel more cheerful about the election in general.

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I stayed home today, slept on the sofa until about 4:30 PM and possibly ruined the medical career of someone named JR. I think I feel better, but it doesnapos;t matter. I have to be in to finish up the campus visit for Thursday. I wonder what drugs would help.... I have some leftover narcotic cough syrup that Iapos;ll probably hit tonight before bed, and Iapos;ll get something with decongestants OTC.

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Today was a good day. It was nice to spend the day with my family, but thereapos;s just one thing that drives me up the wall. I HATE when they try and get me to talk about school and treat me like an idiot. And it killed me when grammie said "I think youapos;re extrodinary"�to Kendall. I want to feel and people to think that Iapos;m extrodinary, I just wish I was as talented as my sisters. I�just feel like I�donapos;t fit in with my family sometimes..and Iapos;m too much like my mom. :[ but anyways,I had fun, Iapos;m just real tired.�This week is going to fly right on by because we didnapos;t have school today.�I really miss you and I�really want to see you more often than I do. And I�miss you too. It sucks not being able to live with someone that youapos;re like..supposed to grow up with and learn from and take after and stuff. Like.. I donapos;t know. Whatevaaaaa. Hahaha in� the care joseph like gagged himself by accident and he made a like choking noise and chunks of chicken nugget like flew everywhere and I�was like AAAAH and I�was stuck in the back with the two babies and i was just like whoa whoa whoa niggga wtf do I do. Hahahahaa. And then I had to likewipe up all that chicken nugget schmeggle and it was just a wee bit gross =] itapos;s okay though because heapos;s so darn cute and I just love him so much I loved today, I love my family, I think you have really changed for the better, and Iapos;m happy for you.�I hope things continue to go the way they are for you and hopefully you can get your feet wet on something and you can live on your own and just start over. I just want my life to feel normal again, but really if you think about it, no ones life is normal. I think maybe I like it better that way...

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I once had a manager named Barbra Jean
DO DA DO DA.
She pissed me off so I made a scene.
Do da do da day.
Some think that sheapos;s great
Some just really hate.
Barb is dumb bitch all the time.
Do Da do Da Day.
You may think I donapos;t have� a point
But I do, I swear I do.
Barb can suck my nuts� allday.
That should shut her up.
Wait a minute though,
I like my balls so no.
Barb can go get eaten by paranahs.
LA LA LA LA YAY
So now this tune is stuck in your head.
Ha ha ha.
I hope barb reads this and it knocks her dead.
HA HA HA HA YAY
I donapos;t like that bitch.
She needs to shut her vaginal looking mouth.
Barb Is really fucking gay.
DRAKE BELL, FOOL...YAY
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Arata Pumpkin FarmItapos;s my favorite time of year, and thus I took a trip
this weekend with a certain Soprano and her two younginapos;s, to my
favorite pumpkin patch.Check out the sweet new Minotaur, ah yea...Itapos;s
still pretty classic, albeit a little more crowded, with what I guess
is people wanting to avoid the Half Moon Bay Pumpkin Festival crowds
next weekend. Or maybe word got out, just how great this patch
is...Poor fallen Samurai...They have added some new things, one of
which was the "world arena of swords" or something close to that. This
was a hay arena where some guys (clearly shopping at the renfaire down
the road) "battle" each other. Most people watched in confusion of how
it fits into a pumpkin patch, but really it was free entertainment, so
why complain?I love all the new jewelery options you can get at craft
stores lately.Inspired by all the lovely orange colors, I worked on
some jewelry projects when I got home. This pendant was inspired by one
they had on display at Michaelapos;s, but changed up to suit my taste a bit
more.You do not want to take me when I got my rocksAlong with the
pendant I whipped out this resin bracelet, which sadly I think is going
to be too big to where to work. I love the look of it, but I think it
makes typing pretty impossible In other good news, I also got my
Halloween costume cut out Now to just pop over to my parents and
borrow my momapos;s sewing machine...
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